I have worked with a lot of highly competent, good, sweet, intelligent, and generous women who are all very unhappy because of one thing – they currently or in the past have had their efforts and good qualities wasted on a “helpless babe.”
“What Is a Helpless Babe?”
I coined the term “helpless babe” when I saw some very similar patterns among the men in the lives of these women. These men were often emotionally immature, would act helpless when it was convenient, and would otherwise appear sophisticated when it worked well in their favor, namely wooing the woman or avoiding responsibility or blame.
These men wreak a lot of havoc in the lives of the people around them while often appearing to be doe-eyed bastions of innocence and goodness to others. They are all too content to let the women do all the work, and they have plenty of excuses why they can’t help out. They often have very few male friends, tend to prefer the company of women because it feels more safe and they can control the women. They will often take on characteristics of little boys, such as being more effeminate, acting helpless and scared, putting on a pouty face when confronted, and having a softer voice. They will avoid being around other male friends out of fear of being confronted, challenged, and called out for their true motivation – to life a life of passive mediocrity that revolves around getting only their needs met.
Men who are emotionally mature will easily spot the helpless babes and try to warn the women away from them, often too late. By that time, women’s strong natural desire to heal and soothe others takes over and they are on a high of both charm and being needed that blinds them to the reality that these helpless babes don’t care about them at all, but are content to sit back and take on the role of a wounded, impotent child for as long as they can get away with it, until someone stands up to them.
When their victim finally stands up to the helpless babe, it can be truly tragic. The helpless babe then becomes a snake that charms everyone who could possibly help the victim and bites with venomous poison anyone who might reveal his true identity.
If you struggle with having a helpless babe in your life, I encourage you to find a trusted person to tell your story to. Find a counselor with expertise in narcisstic abuse to help you unravel the twisted narrative so that you can break free of the lies, manipulation, and destruction left in the path of a helpless babe.